I've decided to make this my day of wallowing, to be followed by tomorrow - the first day of my contract with myself. Today I can just roll in the mire and slog and be pissed off at anything I want to, feel as sorry for myself as I like, and let the malicious crankiness flow!....mmmm, it's amazing the freedom I feel in allowing this - lightness and actually a happiness is ebbing in. I'm not being evil to anyone, as a matter of fact, I think I'm more conscious of my effect on others and I actually called a colleague to apologize for being short with her. I'm just allowing myself to feel really crappy for this day and then, at 11:59 pm, I'll start over under a new regime........
Wallow \ˈwä-(ˌ)lō\ , intransitive verb, Middle English walwen, from Old English wealwian to roll
1: to roll oneself about in a lazy, relaxed, or ungainly manner
2: to billow forth, surge
3: to devote oneself entirely, to take unrestrained pleasure, delight
4 a: to become abundantly supplied, luxuriate, b: to induldge onself immoderately
5. to become or remain helpless
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